I Walked the Halls of the NICU Today

By Melissa Kirsch

I walked the halls of the NICU today.

It felt so familiar, yet not quite the same.

I walked in the room where my daughters once lay,

And stood by the window where I’d look out to pray.

The bathroom floor, often washed by my tears,

Today, felt like Holy Ground where God heard my prayers.

When I looked in the mirror I no longer saw,

the worn and depleted face I once wore.

Today my reflection was lighter and free,

Rid of the burdens that once weighed on me.

*I gazed at the chair where I first got to hold them,

My heart nearly stopped, overcome with emotion.

I sat on the couch where I used to rest,

Where I’d wait for results of the most recent test.

In that room I would catch myself holding my breath,

But today I breathed deeply, seeing God always knew best.

I remembered the times our nurses would say,

“Your lives, and theirs won’t always look this way.”

I didn’t have the vision to see it back then, but they were right.

The tunnel would end, and there would be light.

I left the halls of the NICU today,

It felt so familiar, yet not quite the same.

Where once I walked out brokenhearted and wearied,

Today as I walked, I found consolation and healing.